Thicker Than Water
Sometimes the people who are your blood hurt you more than anyone else you’ve ever met. And that’s just life.
It fucking sucks but yea. That saying? That goes blood is thicker than water? You know the full saying is “blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb” and it deadass means that sometimes, the only people you can truly count on are the people you chose to let into your life and weren’t just born into it. Make sure your friends are good people. Because sometimes, members of your family just…aren’t.
“The only relationship I have with my parents is them asking me for shit,” a friend stated in a private Facebook group. It brought to mind the past struggles she’s had with her mother. “My parents are constantly asking for financial help,” she once detailed. “Now my alcoholic mom is calling asking me to drop off beers at 8 am (which I have never ever done for her, ever). But today is her birthday so she thinks I will? No, never.”
It doesn’t always stem from substance addiction. Sometimes, you just have to follow your gut instinct when members of your own family only bring negativity and suspicious behavior. Like when my father once asked me to send photos of myself if I decided to work in a strip club: “Preferably the bottom part.” Or when he had no problem with displaying his lewd computer wallpaper of a mature, naked woman spreading her legs which could’ve easily been spotted by my impressionable 14-year-old brother. This is the same grown ass man who once asked his own sister if she was sending him naked photos after he noticed a picture she tried to text him didn’t go through. It was actually a “Happy New Year” bitmoji, in case you were wondering.
It would be so awesome if I had a normal family. I wonder what it would be like if I spoke to more than just one of three brothers or tried to have a healthy relationship with my father. Unfortunately, the latter will never happen if my father continues refusing to realise that he ought to seek help for his mental sickness. And the former is my current fate, as one brother remains estranged and the other… Well, having a relationship with my eldest brother is not in the cards for me right now.
If you’ve got a happy and healthy family that you rely on and are proud of, keep that shit going. I have seen plenty of thriving, beautiful, imperfect families up close and personal to know that my own situation does not happen to everyone. When I was a kid, I’d hang out with my best friend at her house with her little sister and a fat cat and parents who always worked so hard to stay together. And I’d be envious of them. I’d wonder why my family had to be the one that was broken apart, divorced, and tainted. But I’m glad. With us, it was healthier to be broken up. It was better for things to come out in the open. If my mother had stayed with my father, and if certain dark secrets were not revealed, it would’ve just meant that more secrets would’ve continued to be swept under the rug. And you know what? Fuck rugs.
Laurrel Allison is an American writer traveling around the world. Follow Laurrel on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to see what she’s doing and where she is.
